Opinion | When it comes to grief, there is no substitute for showing up

Toronto StarOpinion
Written By Shara Cooper MA, MFA

Originally published June 15, 2026.

My mom died in mid-May.

Like all the oldest baby boomers, she would have turned 80 this year. Many people attended her funeral online. Far fewer sat in the pews. I was grateful for every expression of sympathy, whether it arrived as a phone call, a message, a card, or a name in the livestream. Yet, as I looked at the empty seats, I found myself thinking about what it means to truly show up. In an age of constant connection, we are losing the value of simply being present. Physical presence in grief and caregiving carries a kind of weight that digital connection cannot replace.

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Standing in the grasslands with my once-in-a-lifetime grief
Standing in the grasslands with my once-in-a-lifetime grief

My work has slowed for the summer months. While that gives me plenty of time to work on the plethora of side projects that were left on the back burner, it also gives me too much time with my thoughts.

Do I belong in church?
Do I belong in church?

It’s Sunday and I’m thinking about church. If you’ve known me in my adult life, you may think this is strange. I’ve had an aversion to structured religion since my late teens/early twenties. It wasn’t always like that. I grew up going to the Gaetz United Memorial Church in Red Deer. I participated in the youth events, went to Sunday school, and for a period I felt religion very deeply. 

Opinion | How a late ADHD diagnosis let me find peace with myself
Opinion | How a late ADHD diagnosis let me find peace with myself

For nearly my entire life, my understanding of ADHD was wrapped around boys who couldn’t sit still and often had behavioural issues stemming from impulse control.

Beyond that, I didn’t know much. If I ever thought of what ADHD looked like in girls, I imagined the same characteristics. Kids who couldn’t sit in their chairs, lashed out at teachers, and were constantly on the cusp of failing.

Shara Cooper MA, MFA

Shara Cooper is the founder of Nordic Prairie Kitchens (formerly, Recipe and Roots). She is the mother of two teenage daughters, one dog (The Mediocre Gatsby), and one cat (Princess Roseabella the First aka Rosie). She lives in the Edmonton, Alberta. You can find her writing most recently in the Toronto Star.

https://www.sharacooper.ca
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